Sometimes in the grand scheme of putting yourself out there
to meet new people, evaluate prospective wives, mistresses, girlfriends, booty
calls, and find the companionship we desire, it all becomes overwhelming and
you need to take a break to refresh and recharge.
I've taken breaks twice in the past, albeit both were
planned for longer than they ended up being.
Back in 2007, I took a 5 month break to finish getting over my rock
bottom breakup a year prior. I came out
of the break delving head first into the world of international dating where,
if I boast for a quick second, I've set foot on 6 continents, had sex on 5,
received road head on 4, said "I love you" in 3 languages besides
English and meant it, and had 2 serious trans-continental relationships for
about 1 year each. Then in 2009, I took
a 3 month break to re-ground myself after coming within an 11 year age
difference of getting married, moving to Brasil, and starting a family of
Portuguese soccer players and psychologists.
Instead, I relocated to New York City.
Fast forward to the present and after a particularly
draining experience I've decided to take another break which I'm calling a
"self-imposed moratorium".
These brief spells from dating and sex are as much about resolving the
past as they are prepping for a more fulfilling future. It's not hard to get laid: meet new people,
keep smiling, tell stories until they laugh, listen then respond, find common
ground, keep buying food/drinks, break the touch barrier in a non-sleazy way,
then voila, you seal the deal. Rewind,
repeat until success. But after a while,
it gets old. I've always been a believer
in seeking deeper connections beyond physical attraction and a shared mutual
orgasm.
Of course when I decide to take a break it's like word gets
out so past relationships, flings, and hookups always seem to come back
around. I don't see this as a bad
thing. I believe it validates the
connection you once shared, however long or brief, and proves it was
"real". After all, if you love
something, let it go and if it comes back...
Additionally, as was the case with that ex of 3 years who broke my heart
and called me out of the blue 19 months later to meet on Christmas Eve to let
me know she hoped we could get back together in 6 months when she planned to
dump her current boyfriend and move back to Boston, it shows you how much
you've grown and developed as a person.
How you can make someone your world and don't think you could live
without them and then their mere presence annoys you and you question what you
ever found attractive about them in the first place. Otherwise, if you keep revisiting your past
over and over again then where is your love life really headed?
*Originally posted on dailyenthusiast.net on December 16, 2013.
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