Venus vs Mars

Opposites attract. That’s why it makes sense that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. What about those who putt from the rough and play for the same team? Well, everyone knows science, politics, and religion have yet to draft the legislation necessary to eliminate illegal immigration. Truthfully, I’m all for civil rights and respecting personal choices, but that doesn’t escape the fact that Venus and Mars collide here on Earth. Some call it sex, dating, relationships, and love, but really there is a thin line between love and hate. So despite having a plethora of great female friends, I echo the sentiments of most men in saying that I hate (most) women.

More than a few women have told me how they don’t want to “just have fun” but then don’t want a serious commitment either. They don’t want a man who only wants to sleep with them but then don’t want a man who’s trying to wife them up right away either. They want a man who respects their independence and freedom but is still willing to take care of them. Of course he has to have his shit together even if she doesn’t. He must know when to be secure and when to get jealous, when to listen and when to tell her to shut up, and above all else how to be a man who acts with maturity. Men simply see this double speak as a fickle ass female not knowing what the hell she wants.

I see women accuse men of overcomplicating things and not understanding how it’s the little things that speak louder than words. Rewind a paragraph and it’s pretty clear men’s perspective is much simpler than women’s words. But men do see the little things women do and how their words don’t align with their actions, sending mixed messages and signals. I dated a female who said she wanted a great man and a great relationship, but then went around flirting with everyone, accepting any male attention that came her way. So men are forever complaining that women can’t clearly communicate or express what they want so mustn’t know.

Women say they want a nice guy, but their actions are more accepting of assholes. Rather than get hurt, it is easier to put in less and get less from a predictable asshole even if it’s not really worthwhile in the end. Since assholes get more attention, men come to believe it’s better to be an asshole than to be nice because women prefer the bad boys and pay more attention to them anyways. Just as it hurts women to fall in love and have their heart broken, it frustrates men to be good and never have a woman appreciate them for doing good, instead paying mind to the bad ones. In my experiences, each time I acted good and put a woman first, I ended up with a woman who was acting bad, taking advantage of my nice and not appreciating how far I was willing to go to try and make her happy. But every time I acted bad and didn’t even want anything more with her, she was pushing for more involvement from me.

So I have found it is possible for a man to give a woman what she wants and do all the little things. He can start by not giving a shit about her at all. If he hasn’t invested emotionally in this woman then he’s not interested in trying to make her happy over the long haul. Therefore, he can focus on creating discrete moments of temporary joy, the little things, because eventually her time will be up and then it’s on to the next one. He’s doesn’t put her first like all men are told to do with a great woman because he doesn’t care enough. So it’s easy to walk away in an instant and not look back. In reality, men want much more from a girlfriend, a potential wife, than a pretty face and a wet vagina, but if she acts out of line playing games in order to get us to invest more without equal returns, we can accept her as nothing more than a pretty face and smelly vagina.

So men either fall and become nice guys or don’t and become assholes. When men fall, we fall hard and fast willing to do anything to make our woman happy. But women need more time to fall and get over their baggage from past relationship failures. Nice guys finish last so they have to atone for the assholes. So when we do try, it’s often seen as putting in “too much too soon”. Besides women really don’t seem to value any one man more than the next, often taking what they have for granted so it seems to be all about her and getting what other women have that she doesn’t. So a man is left trying to discern if he’s her plan A or plan B because good single uninvolved women just don’t seem to exist. I guess it’s no wonder then that married men and men with girlfriends have such success with single women. They don’t care enough to invest in making her happy so they’re better prepared to provide her those little moments of joy she seems to ultimately want.

To Be Continued…